my latest acquisition

i am resigned to the fact that i won't be able to watch the swing out sister concert next week so i decided to give myself the usual kind of reward: another neil gaiman book, which i haven't read before. it's funny but the theme is timely, too. in 1999, a filmmaker, who is dying, makes his last film about the impending apocalypse of 999AD. but no one will be able to watch it. he's only making it in his head.

i was only able to digest some of its parts. i think it's too much of dave mckean and less of neil gaiman. i'll read it again 10 years from now. maybe i'll appreciate the whole idea of it then.

wanting

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting."
- Adhemar (Rufus Sewell) in A Knight's Tale

i don't know why every time i watch a period English film, i remember this line. i didn't like the movie much but i do like Rufus Sewell and i have to admit, the line is somewhat unforgettable.

i only knew what "wanting" exactly meant last night, after i watched Pride & Prejudice for the nth time (it's just one of those movies i like watching over and over again), remembered the knight's tale line again, and looked at the dictionary.

then, something clicked. when people ask me how my current job is, i tell them that it's ok and that it's the day job i've always thought i wanted. it's what i've always thought i wanted.

it made me think of something else.

and something else made sense.

one of the most celebrated stories in The Sandman graphic novels, and a personal favorite, is A Midsummer Night's Dream in Vol. 3 Dream County. it is Gaiman's take on the "true" origin behind Shakespeare's play. it won a World Fantasy Award for best short story, the first & last time a comic book was given that honor.

in it, Morpheus said that we humans just don't get it, getting what we want meant getting what we once wanted.

i think i get it now that i am where i am. i'm not saying it's absolutely true. i don't want it to be. i just get it now.

and somehow, in a certain aspect of my life, i would prefer to be surprised.

it's a lot better to say "i know this is what i want," isn't it.

holding back the tears

it's been a day after but every time i remember it, my insides still choke up.

i woke up an hour later than i should have yesterday. i got to the mrt around 9am. i tried to catch the train that was about to leave but it closed before i got to the women/elderly/children section. two people were walking in front of me--a mother and a little girl in school uniform with a walking stick.

i gathered as much but i couldn't believe it until we were sitting across each other in the next available train. what's more, the mother was also holding a baby.

i couldn't take my eyes of them, especially the little girl. she kept her eyes open and she kept on groping for her baby sister's little hands. And she kept on smiling.

i kept on holding back the tears. the thing is, it wasn't just me. five stations later, the mother noticed all the women looking their way. then, she was holding back hers.

i don't know what else to say.

forwarded mail happiness

mga isko at iska, sagot na!

To commemorate our centennial year...
University of the Philippines


1. Student number? 95-04234
2. College? College of Eng'g, OUR College da best! (ofc of the unvi. registrar) then, College of Education, Diliman
3. Ano ang course mo?? What did you Major in? BS ChE, Non-Major, then, BSE Art Ed
4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kick out?/ Did you shift majors/Courses or were you a kicked out of your College? Obvious ba.
5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT? ? Where did you take your entrance examination? Econ
6. Favorite GE subject? (General Education classes) Kas 8 bwahaha
7. Favorite PE? badminton, bowling, & circuit weight training
8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guys/girls sa UP? ? Where do you hang out to check out the hot babes/dudes? CASAA Steps
9. Favorite prof(s)? Favorite Professors? Madami (in short, nakalimutan ko names nila)
10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject/least favorite General Education class? Philo ata
11. Kumuha ka ba ng Saturday classes? / Did you sign up for Saturday classes? Nope
12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?/ Did you join any field Trips? Oo at pers lab never dies din!!! hahaha
13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?/ Were you ever a College Scholar and or a University Scholar? Once just for kicks
14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo? ? What Organization/Fraternity/Sorority were you a member of? streetdance at X-O
15. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay? Did you stay at a dorm, boarding house or did you live at home during college? Kalayaan, Molave, boarding house, Ilang, Masaya, Escaler, Malusog, Matimtiman
16. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun? (Given ang mentality mo nung HS ka)/If you had your way, what was your dream course/major? Film (kung di lang ako pumasang Eng'g tsk tsk)
17. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?/ Who did you first meet at U.P? Di ko maalala
18. Frst play na napanood mo sa UP? sisa/mariaclara/salome ng up tropa nung hs pa
19. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch? CASAA, greenhouse, mang jimmys, beach house, dorm
20. Masaya ba sa UP? Shemps!
21 . Nakasama ka na ba sa rally? Once nung freshman yr against commercialization
22. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council? Teka, ilang taon ba ako sa UP? hehe
23. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka? Effort! Wag na. Nung 4 yrs old lang ata ako nun
24. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka? Mag-a-out-of-school-youth ako. UP lang ang in-apply-an ko e