for some reasons, i tuned-in to ASAP mania yesterday while working overtime at home so as not to drown in heaps of questionnaires on tuesday. at some point of staying on the same channel and not really paying attention to it, they paid a tribute to george canseco, one of the most celebrated Filipino composers and, as a revelation, my next fave to odette quesada. his music were made popular by basil valdez, one of my sister's faves, and sharon cuneta. i must admit, am a sharonian hehe

and so, gary v., zsa zsa padilla, kuh ledesma, martin nievera, rico j. and piolo (what the hell is he doing in this group?!) sang george canseco's songs, with a special appearance by basil valdez himself :D

to give you a taste of kundiman lyric about unrequited love, here's some from ngayon and ngayon at kailanman.

Ituring mong kahapo'y waring panaginip lang
Ang bukas, pangitain n'yang ganda'y sa isip lang,
Kung bawat ngayon mo sa 'yo ay (laging) sulit lang
Kayganda ng buhay ngayon

Sa bawat araw ang pag-ibig ko sa 'yo liyag
Lalong tumatamis, tumitingkad
Bawat kahapon ay daig nitong bawat ngayon
Na daig ng bawat bukas

bawat kahapon ay daig nitong ngayon, na daig ng bawat bukas...

ketchup

i'm waiting to start.

teaching again. in the meantime, am working at sws as a decoder for one of their survey projects. in layman's terms, i make d' codes hehehe for open-ended questions such as "what is your favorite blog?" one can get several answers and so, to make data processing easy, i assign codes to each unique answer i.e. "life is waiting" - 0001, "afternoons" - 0002, so on and so forth.

i have 6000 questionnaires to look at. and at least 4 Q#s to code.

i have it easy during the day but by the time the night shift people come to encode (they code-in the d' codes i made hehe), they wait for each questionnaire i code.

i guess even if you don't pause for a stop, even if you get a headstart, and even if you move faster, things will always catch up on you. as they should.

what i did on peng's birthday

woke up early to chat with my friend, peng, and didn't stop until it was 12mn in boston so i can finally greet her a happy birthday. hehe hapi-hapi pre!

spent the whole afternoon loitering then facing the pc for my sister's sticker logo. she bakes the most delicious chocolate cake i've ever tasted. coined a brand name for her (kitchen's heaven) while roomies thought of the product names (choco-heaven cake, heavenly bites , pieces of heaven ). my sister's fave though, is the tagline: piece be with you! hehehehe finished by nighttime

thank God for the saturday night trio. it used to be 7th heaven, boston public, then america's next top model. now, gilmore girls are back! yehey yehey have an additional something to look forward to within the week. if there's a good movie after, it'll be quadruple! wuw

kinda miss having a tv inside my room with cable hehe
kinda miss hearing beautiful songs, old and new, favorites or never-been-heard-before ones

and so, gilmore girls is a welcome addition to my day. it's sure to give good songs, good conversations, good company.

last night, the song i noticed was from boston public towards the end scene. the line "if i leave you, it doesn't mean i love you any less" seemed to jump out of the song. got the lyrics...hmmm...nice song...

Lyrics for Warren Zevon - Keep Me In Your Heart

Shadows are falling, and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while
When you get up in the morning, and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for a while
There's a train leaving nightly, called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while

Hold me in your thoughts
Take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next you

ang pag-asa nasa Q.C.

"malapit lang ang pag-asa. nasa qc. katabi lang ng project6."

and so goes the blabber of one of my former housemates last night while drinking with other officemates, myself included. he said it's alright to hope if there's something to hope for. and then went on to tell of love stories, tragic or otherwise, that he either knew personnally or simply fabricated (we really can't tell sometimes hehe). the main theme of which is break-ups and is driving closer to home, at times.

"hope" is very near. in fact, it's in qc, just beside project6. it is where sm city north edsa stands. homes there are for sale or rent, previously owned or already owned. things there are for sale or rent, just for a moment or for keeps. you can almost get anything you want from there because that's where "hope" is.

goes to show that things are definitely within reach. you just need to know where to find it. could i be looking in the wrong direction?

the red sox won. and i was sure i had a point last night when i thought of the today's entry. i forget...

one of my friends sent a message on the phone. she wrote, "lapit na showing ng before sunset (exclamation point and a smiley face). i remebered you" and that made my day. to think it was from someone who i thought was already an estranged friend.

i realized we'll never be lost. we can be found in everyone who knew us and know us well. we always leave some part of us in everyone we meet, even to those who unknowingly keep it. and at some point, they'll offer it back to you. and you remember yourself.

my friends know me well. and these are the things they help me remember:

i love a good movie, especially romantic ones because i'd love to make one myself and live one myself. i love to talk, about nothing and everything. i love to write, about nothing and everything, especially about the nothings and everythings of love. i love a good laugh. i love singing (kahit pang-asar lang). i love get-togethers, especially when you're not really doing anything in it. i love having someone. i love hugs and holding hands and crave for it. i now love being by my self knowing that i am not alone. i love being sentimental and i love being romantic. i wanna live to inspire. and so, i love not giving up.

i am hoping for a good life and someone who will be in it with me. i am wishing for a love who will truly be mine.

find me. i've been waiting for you all my life.

going into game 7

why wait if you can not-wait at all? my friend asked.

if you're not waiting for something, does it mean you don't want anything?
probably not.

just realized i'm not into the tao anymore but the zen. i live for the present, in the present. savoring where i am and who i am, wherever and whoever i may be, right now. no worries for tomorrow, no hang-up on yesterday. sounds like a plan isn't it?

i learned today that what i've been missing for the past 2 months is having to root for someone. i placed my bet on fantasia barrino and she won. i cheered for maria sharapova and she won. their hope seemed to mirror mine. the same thing is happening to my friend peng, i think. she's been rooting for the red sox all season. they were down 3-0. yesterday, they just made it 3-3 to make way for a do-or-die game 7. they are the underdog and i think they just might win.

now, i'm not rooting for anyone. is it time to just root for myself? will i win? what am i fighting?

the red sox will give it their all. it's gonna be a tough battle.

i will give it my all and i'm not after a title or a trophy or a prize. in life, there are no playoffs. but these times feel like i'm going for game 7.

30 minute goodbyes

ever noticed when you're on the phone and you said goodbye, it takes another 30 minutes before you and the other one on the line actually put the handset down?

when will this phone-call end?

i've already said goodbye but something always comes up and you can't put it down. not yet.
not yet? how about now?

there's still someone on the other line.

traffic lights

circumstances in my life since august and ever after have left me floating.
a new addition to much of my confusion is the notion that i already have the 2 jobs that i wanted. the problem is, i don't know when i'll start.

and, as much as i'd love to jump for joy that i finally have work, i can't. i don't have anything tangible to prove it. sounds awfully familiar.

you theoretically have something and yet, you actually have nothing.

now, i'm still waiting.

remember when you were 12? you can't wait to be sixteen. then sixteen comes and you want to be 18. you wait for your first kiss, your first love. your parents wait for your graduation. you wait for your graduation. you wait for your first job, your next job. you wait for your last love.

i wait for your verdict. and am anxious about my reaction.

do tears well up even when there's a draught?

life, it seems, is about waiting. and living, is about how well you're holding up.

a friend told me the world never stops turning. sparingly, sometimes we do. and we wait at the nearest bus stop pondering over what mode of transportation to take and which direction to go for. do we walk? skip-hop? sprint? ride? cruise?

the light right now, and has been, yellow. proceed with caution.

i'll wait for the light to turn green.